Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Do Kids Really Ever Change?

I have 3 grown children and it always amazes me that so many of the earlier personality traits and social skills have remained exactly as they were when they were not even 2 years old.

I have one child, my youngest, that has always been a pistol. When he was 2 and 3 years old he used to be so darn stubborn that he would just sit on the floor with his arms crossed and pout for for what seemed like hours if something did not go his way. He never kicked and screamed or anything noisy, just refused to look at anyone and would stare at the wall.

He also could not make a decision to save his life. When I would take him shopping when he was around 7 or 8, he would get so upset if I asked him what color of shirt he wanted, the blue one or the green one? He would say "I don't know " and get all huffy. It drove me completely crazy because I could never understand why it was so hard for him to decide. This wasn't a one time occurance either.

What is funny is that he is still very much like that at 28. He still has a very tough time making choices of color or style, like his life depended on it or something. And when he is in a foul mood...look out because everyone in the room is going to know it even though he doesn't say much. He is a deep thinker and very serious, but his sense of humor, which is very dry, is wonderful and we can have such a great time together.

My older two have always been social butterflies and had 20 friends all at once. They knew everyones' business and were always rooting for the underdog. They would give the shirts off their backs (literally) to help someone. I remember one time we had gone out clothes shopping for the new school year when they were about 15 or so. Anyway I started to notice that some of the clothes they were wearing home were not the ones they left in and discovered that they had traded clothes with kids that they deemed "less fortunate".

Both are now 31 years old and haven't changed much in that respect. I am very happy that they have compassionate souls and as they grow older I think they are beginning to see the difference between empathy and sympathy and they no longer give out most of their clothes. Actually as they get older they tend to hold onto everything and drag it through every move like it was a life line.

So I guess you could say some things change and yet they stay the same.


Katya said...

uh oh, what is my mom gonna say about me?

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